Simply moving the inner tube is also a feat of pure magic as it glides along any surface, even splinter-filled wooden planks, simply by leaning forward.
Instead of offering creative and entertaining level design, most sections are tedious and just making it to the end is a challenge without worrying about the clock or collectables. Sometimes coins and switches are displayed but not active, and sometimes jumps and collectables are out of reach, requiring numerous play-throughs and memorization. Unfortunately, this is extremely difficult and the only way to unlock more content. The replay value comes from unlocking more tracks, collecting star bits, and performing perfect runs. It is important to properly land from each jump but sometimes the player can literally land on the YouTube blogger’s head and still be fine. The Trials-style gameplay contains inconsistent physics and wobbly play control. NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE! Why does this dumb game exist?!Īs you can see from my stream below, I get angrier the more I play: Oh yeah, and all this happens while navigating on top of giant banana or stuffed flamingo. However, if you manage to magically jump over these Pitfall callbacks, the dynamite throwing monkeys will snipe you from off screen with unavoidable explosions.
To make this clear, a cartoony lizard literally kills Xbox Live Avatar looking real life people and sends them back to the last checkpoint. One of those hazards, is a giant crocodile that literally eats these social media people to death. The goal is to reach the end of the waterslide in the shortest amount of time while avoiding hazards along the way. Shouldn’t they be making TikTok videos or trying to have you buy a sponsor related product so they can get paid? When you think of a YouTube personality, what is the first thing you think of? That’s right! Rafting down a manmade waterslide but within a tropical jungle setting. Why would anyone want to play as a social media influencer is beyond me but that isn’t even the dumbest part – riding on inflatable rafts while foregoing any sense of physics or realism is. The babe with big boobs doesn’t have a higher jump than the turd burglar with the bad sunglasses, for example.
Also, there is no incentive in painstaking unlocking more IG models as they call play exactly the same. Feeling better about myself for not knowing who any of these “stars” are, I spent most of the time playing as the only unlockable dude who is apparently so rich from making YouTube videos but cannot afford a shirt. It wasn’t until I did some research did I learn that each character is either a YouTube or Instagram d-bag of some kind. When first booting up the game, I was immediately confused by the roster of playable characters. Nothing about this game makes any sense and instead of being comically subjective like these previous examples, it is confusingly frustrating and makes you madder the more you play. Out of games like fighting as a giant crab holding military grade weaponry, flying as a bird with no goals or objectives whatsoever, journeying as a simple shape on his quest to quell depression, or trying to reach the goal in one of the most nonsensical fever dream games ever created, Slide Stars is the easily the biggest WTF game this year. 2020 will not only go down as one of the worst and most bizarre years in human history but it also provided us with a slew of truly odd and unexpected games.